Culinary Misadventures #1: An encounter with sushi and appertuances

I’ve been mulling over this series of posts for some time now, prompted by urges from several people who want me to write on food and some who want me to impart a more humorous tinge . I hope this satisfies all these sections.

This details an explosive  interaction with Far Eastern cusine in a Middle Eastern setting. I have dug out the records of how I recounted it to My Ustaad, and this, according to me, is the best way to present it as I did in the first week of December two years ago……  In the account V refers to me and U to the Ustaad‘s responses. I guess U was convulsed with laughter at the predicament of a poor feline. Anyway, here goes….. I have used the original account,  and all the small cases and misspellings have been left as they were. Only one place I have made an embellishment of my condition.

V: and then they called me down for lunch…
they went in for the usual Mughlai and i, after a careful perusal of the options, hit on….Japanese

U: phir?

V: so first then I selected a normal thing…. some kind of beef but then I thought I’d like to try some sushi as well

U: first time having sushi?

V: ummm…yes

U: ok phir?

V: as I began digging in, my sister insisted (with an ulterior motive) and was backed by my brother in law, that I use the chopsticks…. neglecting my plea that I had the wrong physiology… tricky to use them with paws
 
this brought to the attention of a considerbale cross-section who seemed to be observing me with great interest and mostly well-disguised amusement

U: phir?

V: finally I abandoned the chopsticks and setlled for the prosaic plastic cutlery started on the sushi….

U: phir

V: so the first bites were pretty ok… then I espied a green blob of a pretty innocous looking thing on the sidelines

U: phir

V: so i dabbed it on….
 
the interest around had been rekindled after I had dropped a piece in the soy sauce or whatever that balck thing was and swor…exclaimed in exasperation

U: phir?

V: and then dabbed..and put it into my mouth and Then

U: then?
was it really hot?

V: it felt like a rocket had exploded in my mouth or there had been a sudden gas attaack on me….
it was’nt hot but

U: but????????

V: i choked and splutterd
tears came from my eyes aand smoke from my ears and I rounded it with a magnificent sneeze…two of them
  (Note: As I write this, I get a recollection of that scene and realise my initial response was too mild. What it really felt like – I feel on mature recollection – was that a procession of fire-eaters was jogging inside my mouth, recklessly spewing fire indiscrimately and interminably, and using the free time to set off powerful explosions)

and this got a freh round of tittering from the gathering who were watching my every bove (move) with interest and anticipation

while my sister and brother-in-law wept…with laughter
which I feel was unfair

U: phir?

phir?

phir?

V: i bet the hall would have broken with spontaneous applause if they could…and I feel they were at least a few people who were ready to ask me if I did private shows

U: what was it that u ate wasabi?

Have u ever tried Wasabi Peas….they are quite nice.

V: i will do nothing…unless I am aalone in a separate room
it still makes my eyes water when I even think of it

U: The peas are not so bad. trust me.

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