Sledge Hammer…. what a show! II

Sledge Hammer also featured a good deal of self-referential and topical, pop culture-based humor – In the final episode of the first season, Captain Trunk tells a busted criminal “Your show’s been cancelled!”; Hammer replies, “You talking to me?” (an obvious reference to the show’s shaky prospects for a second season). In another episode, Hammer tells a suspect “Every breath you take, every move you make, I’ll be watching you. That’s police talk!”, alluding to the 1983 hit song by The Police. Also in in reference to the show’s no-win timeslot opposite both ‘Dallas’ & ‘Miami Vice’

Sledge Hammer:  Now where am I on this lineup?
Dori: You follow a guy from Dallas & precede a guy from Miami.
Sledge Hammer: Between Dallas & Miami… what a terrible place to be!

Some more representative dialogues:

Sledge Hammer  (catchphrase): Trust me – I know what I’m doing!

Sledge Hammer: [Talks to gun] I don’t know about you, but I’m stuffed. What do you say we take a look at those videos I rented?
[Puts gun back in holster and goes to the living room to check out the video tapes]
Sledge Hammer: ‘On Golden Gun,’ ‘Peggy Sue Got Murdered,’ ‘The Way We Wounded… ‘ ‘Home Video Target Range,’ what’ll they think of next?
[Inserts ‘Home Video Target Range’ video into VCR and turns on TV]
Video Narrator: Shoot me. Shoot me. Shoot me. Shoot me.
[Hammer shoots TV]
Sledge Hammer: [Talking to gun] Remind me not to rent that one again. It’s too expensive.

Dori: Sorry to interrupt you, Captain.
Sledge Hammer: Just wanted to cheer you up.
Captain Trunk: That’s impossible. This is the worst day of my life.
Sledge Hammer: Now you see right there, you’re wrong. You’ve said many times that the worst day of your life was the day I joined the force.
[Trunk looks at Hammer]
Sledge Hammer: Now you feel better?
Captain Trunk: Yes.

Captain Trunk: Hammer, what happened? Didn’t they try to brainwash you?
Sledge Hammer: That’s right, captain, they did. They tried to play on my subconscious. But they forgot one important thing.
Captain Trunk: What’s that?
Sledge Hammer: I don’t have a subconscious.

Officers: [watching Hammer defuse a bomb] Go, Sledge Go! Go, Sledge Go!
Captain Trunk: Go, Bomb Go! Go, Bomb Go!

[Hammer, suspended from duty, saves the day by defusing a bomb – see above. Captain Trunk reluctantly welcomes him back to the force]
Captain Trunk: I hate to say it, but it’s good to have you on the force.
[they shake hands]
Sledge Hammer: Thank you, Captain.
Captain Trunk: And if there’s ever anything I can do for you, please tell me.
Sledge Hammer: Oh, no.
[pause]
Sledge Hammer: Well, there is one… no, it’s… well, I mean, I’ve always wanted to do it, but it takes two people.
Captain Trunk: This does not involve a gun, does it?
Sledge Hammer: [laughing] No, no!
[Cut to Later: Hammer raises a kiddie’s bow-and-arrow set, while Captain Trunk places an apple on his head]

Captain Trunk: Hammer, I got a problem. Do you know a reporter named Phil Gum from Action News?
Sledge Hammer: I don’t watch the news. I make it.
Captain Trunk: He wants to ride along with one of us… for one day.
Sledge Hammer: So what’s the problem?
Captain Trunk: He chose you!
Sledge Hammer: Why me?
Captain Trunk: Because, Hammer, on paper, you have a perfect arrest record. You have put over a thousand men behind bars. God knows if any of them are guilty of anything!
Sledge Hammer: They look guilty to me.
Captain Trunk: Hammer, you don’t seem to understand the point of my dilemma. I’ve been fighting with city hall for over two months now. They’re talking about making cutbacks! The mayor is threatening this entire department! Do you understand what I’m saying?
Sledge Hammer: You want me to kill the mayor?
Captain Trunk: No! I’m saying this report will help us or hurt us. It could be good PR or bad PR. I’m ordering you to act responsibly!
Sledge Hammer: Don’t worry captain. [takes out gun] Me and my one-man band will give them a little wholesome family entertainment!
Captain Trunk: Hammer, put that gun away. NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

Sledge Hammer: You know what I’m going to do to you? I’m going to stick your head in that microwave and set it on “sandwich.”
Dori: Hammer, you can’t do that!
Sledge Hammer: What? There’s no setting for sandwich?

Dori: I’ve got an idea.
Sledge Hammer: Now you’re thinking like a man!

To be continued….

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