Inspector Clouseau speaks

Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau is the hero in Blake Edwards’s The Pink Panther series. Peter Sellers, who played the role in most of the films in the 1960s and 1970s, is considered the definitive Clouseau and gave the character some of his most endearing and unforgettable traits. The most marked was his accent which became steadily more exaggerated in successive films and a frequent running gag in the movies was that even French characters would have difficulty understanding what he was saying.

Enjoy some of them without any distractions such as the context or the source, even if you might have seen them earlier in the posts devoted to the  various films in the series :

This IZ Chief Inspector Clouseau speaking on the pheaun

Kato, the phewn is rrrengeng!

Dreyfus: MINKEY??? You said MINKEY!!!
Clouseau: Yes… a Chimpanzee Minkey

Special delivery, a beum, were you expecting one?.. A Beum? Ahhhaaaahhhaaaoooww

François: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?
Clouseau: Yes, the exploding kind

Clouseau: Does yer dewg bite?
Inn Keeper: No
Clouseau: Nice Doggy (bends down to pet a dachshund – it snarls and bites him) I thought you said yer dewg did not bite!
Inn Keeper: Zat… iz not my dog!

Clouseau: Do you have a REUM?
Inn Keeper: I do not know what a REUM iz!
Clouseau (consults German dictionary): Zimma (zimmer)
Inn Keeper: Ahhh.. a RRRUUUMMM!
Clouseau: That is what I have been saying you idiot! REUM

Housekeeper: You’ve ruined that piano!
Clouseau: What is the price of one piano, compared to the terrible crime that has been committed here
Housekeeper: But that’s a priceless Steinway!
Clouseau: Nyot Anymeur.

François: Gesundheit!
Clouseau: Yes, I kneow that, I kneow that

Do you have a massage for me?

You killed him in a rit of fealous jage!

Swine Moat !  (also at other occasions for a bird, a rabbit and a maid)

You have ra-ceived a bimp. One could get a concusion from such a bimp

Sir Phantom the notorious Lytton


Good Sharkey Colonel God! We were just talking about you

Does Monsieur Charles Litton ‘ave a sweemang poohl?

Do I detect something in your voice that says I’m in disfavour with you?

Clouseau: And who are yeu ?
Jarvis: I’m Jarvis, the butler.
Clouseau: And what is it yeu deu..?

Ahh… The old take off all your clothes ploy!

Your architect should have his head examined (after walking into the wall instead of the doorway)

Clouseau: This is a door??
Jarvis: Yes, that is a door
Clouseau: Yes, I kneow that… I kneow that

Clouseau: That man is crahzy!
Nurse: We don’t use that word around here, sir
Clouseau: Then what word do yeu use?
Nurse: Now now…
Clouseau: That man is very now now !

One more outburst like that, and I’ll have your stripes (said to a Sgt. in a zebra costume)

Swine Parrot! That is my own personal mustache!

Oh the bells, the bells, they deffin me

Monsieur..Don’t try to be funnayyyy with me

Lady Litton: What is it you do Guy?
Clouseau (as Guy Gadboise): Well… yeu kneauw, a little bit of zis and a little bit of zat

It tastes very, bad that way (after putting a cigarette in the mouth the wrong way round)

I might even be pehrseuded to ruhn for the Peublic Office

I bet his little yellow brain is thinking of something right now! 

Ohhhh… Sixteen bottles on a dead man’s rum, yo-ho-ho and a bottle of the chest.

Clouseau (on the telephone): And who am I speaking to?
Drefyus: This is the person that wants you killed more than anything in the world!
Clouseau: Are you the head waiter at the leetle Beestro on the Roudy Bouzzare?

Mehrder??..what Mehrder?

I am here to fix the problem with yer pheaun

Ehh, scungili, ziti, Al Pacino, viva zapata

I arrest you all in the name of the leahw!

Ahh… The old closet ploy, I do enjoy a good closet ploy

Yeu need a neuw FLINT! (to Dreyfus as he is trying to shoot Clouseau, who thinks the gun is a lighter)

Here’s looking at yeuh, kid

Simone: Your jacket!
Clouseau: Yes, I kneaw it iz my jacket.
Simone: No… It’s on fire!

Unidentified character: You’ll catch your death of cold.
Clouseau: Yes, yes I probably will but… its all part of life’s rich pagentry you kneau

What do we know.. ONE.. That the professor and his daughter have been kidnapped/ TWO… That someone has kid-nap-ped them and THREE….. MY HAND IS ON FIRE!!!

Straange..Very straange

This is a very serious matter and everyone is this reuoom is under the suspicions.

And to end with……

Until we meet again and the case is sol-ved


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Steven on April 24, 2011 at 17:30

    You obviously are an efficienado of Clouseau. I consider myself one as well. It is a very well done blog and would love to talk and share more Clouseau trivia. Well done!!!!


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