“Questions Only” from Whose Line Is It Anyway? II

 A few more examples of the “Questions Only” game from Whose Line Is It Anyway, where all the performers take part – two starting enacting the offered scene in questions and buzzed out when they cannot furnish a query in dialogue and replaced by the other. The circle continues till Clive (Anderson – the show host) gets tired. 

At the Vet’s

Clive: …you’re going to the vet, which in England means a veterinary surgeon, rather than somebody who’s served in Vietnam. So going to the vet, questions only, away you go!

Greg: Thank you, Mr. Pedantic! (Buzz!)

Clive: That wasn’t a question, you’re out! So…

Tony: Now what’s wrong with your animal?

Colin: Can you help me?

Tony: What is it?

Colin: Can’t you tell?

Tony: Aren’t I the vet?

Colin: Haven’t you ever seen a Burmese cat before?

Tony: Do I look as if I have?

Colin: Why are you asking me?

Tony: Aren’t you the one with the problems?

Colin: Doesn’t the cat look sick?

Tony: Is it dead?

Colin: Do I know?

Tony: Why ask me?

Colin: Do I look like a doctor?

Tony: What have you been feeding it?

Colin: Today?

Tony: … (cracks up. Buzz!)

Ryan: How long has he had this fever?

Colin: This cat?

Ryan: Can you see any other cats?

Colin: Can’t you tell I’m perturbed?

Ryan: Is he Siamese?

Colin: Does he look Siamese?

Ryan: Are you Siamese?

Colin: Are you trying to get my goat?

Ryan: Don’t we know each other?

Colin: Weren’t we in class together?

Ryan: Are you Phil Johnson?

Colin: Are you Bob Fillyfoo?

Ryan: How the hell…? (Buzz!)

Clive: (motions that Colin is out) Sorry, too silly! Bob Fillyfoo’s not a real name!

Greg: Do you think you can save him, Bob Billyboo?

Ryan: Do you think I have the talent?

Greg: Isn’t that what you’re here for?

Ryan: Is four years medical school too little?

Greg: Is five billion dollars enough to pay this fee?

Ryan: Do you have the money?

Greg: Do you need it now?

Ryan: American cash?

Greg: Will you take a bad cheque?

Ryan: Is it your cheque?

Greg: Is that what you want?

Ryan: Do you think I can help him?

Greg: Won’t you help Fifi?

Ryan: Will you assist me?

Greg: Would you like me to?

Ryan: Could I have the scalpel?

Greg: Is this the one you want?

Ryan: Does blood scare you? (makes the incision)

Greg: Is that his internal organs?

Ryan: Do you see that? (takes something out and hands it to Greg)

Greg: Are you sure this isn’t… something else?

Ryan: Would you like to keep it?

Greg: May I eat it?

Ryan: Wouldn’t it make a great necklace?

Greg: Do you have any fondue?

Ryan: … (Buzz!)

 At a Singles’ Party

Josie: Why are the walls painted this colour?

Stephen: Are you pissed?

Josie: Is there alcohol here?

Stephen: Is this a party or what?

Josie: What’s your name?

Stephen: …Ah well you got me there! (Buzz!)

Colin: What’s your sign?

Josie: Wouldn’t you like to know, huh?

Colin: Can’t you tell me?

Josie: Do you French kiss?

Colin: With my clothes on?

Josie: Do you have a naked body under there then?

Colin: Would you like to see? (pretends to take his clothes off)

Josie: … (Buzz!)

Ryan: Should I speak or should you speak?

Colin: Do you mind if I put on my clothes first?

Ryan: … (Buzz!)

Josie: So are you looking for love in your life?

Colin: Can’t you tell?

Josie: Would you like a drink?

Colin: Shall I mix it for you?

Josie: … What’s your… (Buzz!)

Colin: What would you like?

Ryan: Do you have vodka?

Colin: Russian?

Ryan: Is there any other kind?

Colin: … (Buzz!)

Stephen: Haven’t we met before?

Ryan: Bill Crookenbauer?

Stephen: Roger Johnson? (they shake hands)

Ryan: How the hell have you been?

Stephen: All-thaaaa….!

And finally, a Stag Night

Steve: Do you wanna drink?

Brad: What do ya got?

Steve: What do ya like?

Brad: Do you have vodka?

Steve: Do you get pissed easily?

Brad: Do you wanna dance?

Steve: Are you a poof? I’m so sorry (leaves)

Colin: Am I late for the entertainment?

Brad: Aren’t you the entertainment?

Colin: Have you ever seen a man juggle live bunnies naked before?

Brad: Is this my chance?

Colin: Is this the best thing you have ever seen?

Brad: What’s with the bowling balls?

Colin: You mean the green one?

Brad: Is that what that is?

Colin: Have you got the money to pay me?

Brad: Will you accept one quid?

Colin: What’s that in American money?

Brad: (shrugs, then walks off)

Clive: One quid?

Ryan: Order some bunnies?

Colin: How many have you got there?

Ryan: Is 10 too many?

Colin: Didn’t you hear the order I placed?

Ryan: You placed an order?

Colin: If I didn’t, why are you hear?

Ryan: Is it wrong that I am hear?

Colin: Can we start all over?

Ryan: Why don’t you…? (speaks in gibberish and gets buzzed)

Brad: What do you do with the bunnies, exactly?

Colin: (laughs and gets buzzed)

Steve: Who’s getting married?

Brad: Didn’t you call me a poofter earlier?

Steve: You sure that was me?

Brad: You have a twin brother?

Steve: Yeah, I do (buzzed)

Colin: You nervous?

Brad: Should I be?

Colin: Didn’t you hear the five minute call?

Brad: Aren’t you his twin?

Colin: Why are you asking?

Brad: You heard of the FBI?

Colin: Are you gonna put me in handcuffs?

Brad: Would you like me to?

Colin: You have something smaller?

Brad: Would you like some oil to rub down with?

Colin: What kind of an FBI agent are you?

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