“Questions Only” from Whose Line Is It Anyway?

As I recall games from the marvellously funny Whose Line Is It Anyway?, the next one I am reminded of is “Questions Only”. I guess the name is self-explanatory… Two of the performers enacted a given scene speaking only in questions, while the other performers wait off-stage, one behind each of them. If either performer speaks in a non-question, or takes too long to respond, the host sounds the buzzer and they are replaced by the performer behind them. In early versions, the game was not a competition and involved only two performers.

Some examples:

 Circus Auditions

Josie: Is this the auditions?

Mike: Are you an august clown or a white-face clown?

Josie: Whats a white face clown?

Mike: You mean you don’t know (Buzzed)

Greg: Why are you late?

Josie: Is there something in my eye?

Greg: Why do you ask?

Josie: (Can’t think of a question and is buzzed)

Greg: Do you want to audition now?

Ryan: Is there another time?

Greg: Do you want to discuss the pay?

Ryan: Can you put it in the bank?

Greg: Is there another way?

Ryan: Do you know my wife?

Greg: Doesn’t everyone?

Lets take another. Aliens Meeting Earthlings

Caroline: Who are you?

Colin: Can’t you tell by my green skin?

Caroline: Do you like my blue skin?

Colin: (says nothing, buzzed out)

Clive: Too boring Colin, I’m afraid!

Greg: Would you like to hold my antennae?

Caroline: Do you need to ask?

Greg: (laughs and is buzzed out)

Colin: Can you take me to your leader?

Caroline: Can you tell me who it is?

Colin: How would I know?

Caroline: Do you want me to take you anyway?

Colin: Can you do it quickly?

Caroline: Can I?!

Colin: What do you mean by that?

Caroline: Do I mean anything?

Colin: Pardon? (Buzzed)

Clive: Too short a question.

Colin: Ah, Screw you! (leaves)

Greg: Would you like to use my craft?

Caroline: Where is your craft?

Greg: Can you tell me? I’ve forgotten!

Caroline: Have I seen it somewhere around?

Greg: Have you? (Buzzer)

Clive: I am just buzzing you out for the hell of it Caroline, because you were winning so well.

Greg: Do you come in peace?

Ryan: Are you here to conquer us?

Greg: Haven’t we met on Uranus?

Ryan: Phil?

Greg: Binky?

Ryan: Have you been drinking?

Greg: Have I?!

Ryan: Tequila?

Greg: You know, don’t you?

Ryan: Does your breath smell bad?

Greg: Well you haven’t changed, have you?

Ryan: Do you have more than two eyes?

Greg: You can’t tell, can you?

Ryan: You’re going to kill me aren’t you?

Greg: Interesting question! (buzzed)

French Romance Story

Brad: Where did I go?

Mike: Did you run and get me the gift from the chocolate shop?

Brad: How could I forget?

Mike: Are you not a man who keeps his promise’s how rare you are?

Brad: Are you gonna to kiss me now?

Mike: Am I gonna give you a tongue slapping yes? (Kisses Brad)

Clive: (Buzz) I buzzing you out Brad to save you further punishment

Mike: Are you next?

Ryan: No (Buzz)

Brad: Did you have garlic for dinner?

Mike: Did you notice?

Brad: Notice! (Buzzed)

And finally, the Army Recruitment Office

Tony: So, you want to be a soldier, it that right?

Steve: Do you get a free uniform?

Tony: (slightly higher pitch) Why are you asking me?

Steve: Are they tanks?

Tony: (slightly higher) Are they tanks, where?

Steve: This is the army recruitment office, isn’t it?

Tony: (even higher) Haven’t you got eyes?

Steve: I thought the army supplied them. That’s a statement, I’m out

Tony: (even higher) You want to be a ren, do you?

Colin: Isn’t it obvious?

Tony: (higher) Why should it be obvious?

Colin: Why are you asking that?

Tony: (still high pitched) Aren’t you a soldier? (buzzed) whoah!

Clive: Too high pitched, sorry (Colin and Tony laugh, Tony leaves)

Ryan: Do I have what it takes to be a soldier

Colin: I don’t know, do you?

Ryan: Can you help me?

Colin: How can I help?

Ryan: Do I get a gun?

Colin: Can you climb that rope?

Ryan: You think that’s too high for me?

Colin: Is Cilla black?

Ryan: Is Barry white?

Colin: Would you like to climb beside you?

Ryan: Would you like to show me how?

Colin: Can you follow me?

Ryan: Can I come right behind you?

Colin: Do you think this is the navy?

To be continued….


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