Clive Anderson on Whose Line Is It Anyway? III

Some more memorable occasions with Clive Anderson, the host of the uproarious Whose Line Is It Anyway? including some of the times he got bested by his talented guests during a spat. I gave you some such snappy exchanges with Greg Proops. Here are some more.   

But first a selection of Clive welcoming the viewers after a commercial break.

Welcome back…

…that was the best set of ads we’ve ever had!

…or if you’ve just joined us, Where have you been?

…to part two, with the exciting news that we’ve done part one

…wtih thunderous cheers and that was just for the ads

…I’ve just been working out how much money Tony made during those adverts

…what a fantastic audience we had last week!

And here the host engages with Paul Merton.

Clive: (during Film and Theatre Styles) You were supposed to be in a bar

Paul: I’m trying, but you keep on buzzing. Slaphead.

Clive: (looks at camera) I’m sorry to announce the untimely death of Paul Merton, by my hands

Paul: I lasted longer than your hair did, though

And here he takes on Mike

Clive: What object should Mike sing about?

Audience Member: Hose Pipe!

Clive: Okay, singing about a hose pipe.

Mike: Meaning…?

Clive: Oh, you don’t have those in America?

Josie: A garden hose.

Clive: Yes. Elvis had a small one didn’t he?

Mike: It’s not the size of the hose that counts, its the amount of water you can get through it.

And another in Song Styles & Duet

Clive: Early rock & roll, an old boiler.

Mike: Early rock and roll? What? Before this (raises his hand to his forehead) point in your hairline, or this part…? It’s sorta like a sequoia, we can, like, chart, you know…

Clive: That’s right, just when it caught up with yours, Mike!

And here Clive takes on a hapless audience member.

Clive: Can I ask you, sir, can you think of a country where this story could be set?

Audience Member: Um… Norfolk

Clive: Norfolk? You’re…

Audience Member: It’s in England

Clive: I know it’s in England, you’re from the Norfolk Nationalist Party are you?

And during Tag, facing a combined assault.

Clive: You bring out the worst in people, you go on your knees…

Sandi: What do you mean, I bring out the worst in people?

Clive: …or have you been on your knees all evening? (audience boos)

Sandi: (marches over to Clive’s desk) Sorry, I didn’t hear that, BALDY!! (audience cheers)

Clive: Well there it is. It’s probably because your ears are close to the ground.

Paul: Are you bald, or is you neck blowing bubble gum? (Mike shakes Paul’s hand)

Clive: I’m not bald, I’m just taller than my hair!

And on that note, I must end….

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