“Authors” from Whose Line Is It Anyway? V

Another installment of the “Authors” from Whose Line Is It Anyway? where the performers act out a given scenario in the styles of an author or any literary genre.

The last few examples I have

How I Killed My Fairy Godmother with Josie Lawrence as the Michelin Guide to Famous Buildings and Landmarks in London, Greg Proops as Jack Kerouac, Jim Sweeney as JRR Tolkien and Tony Slattery as My Little Pony.

Josie: I followed my fairy grandmother one day. I hated her guts. She walked across the famous zebra crossing in Abbey Road, well known for being painted by Michelangelo in 1615, and then…

Greg: London was cold and foggy, but it was cool ’cause I was in San Francisco! I was trippin’ down the street, (goes into beatnik gibberish) I pulled a reefer out of my pocket the size of a huge black drummer’s leg and lit it up…

Jim: Gandalf took the reefer of one and smoked it. Suddenly his voice went all high – (high-pitched voice) “So Frodo, what do you make of this?” (normal voice) Frodo was impressed and a shadow fell upon his face and a chill entered his heart. At that very moment, thousands of people suddenly swarmed on him. They were Orcs, and some were Ringwraiths…

Tony: Some were Ringwraiths but suddenly they turned into gaily brightly coloured little ponies! “Why is everything so garishly coloured?” “It’s because we all take methyldexamphetamine sulphate!”

Josie: The little ponies were making a nice little trip to Big Ben, so called because the first politician ever was big and called Benjamin.

Greg: The little ponies were crazy cats, man, little horses with legs that moved to and fro, you couldn’t even tell how much, man. They were wild. I saw my fairy godmother there, I broke a wine bottle over her head.

Jim: She was well cheesed off. At that moment, riding on Pixylix was Strider, Aragorn, son of Arathorn. Known to the Hobbits as Big Tall Git with Halitosis!

Tony: Known to the little ponies as Big Pony! I bet you know why…

She’s Gotta Have More Macaroni and Cheese with Mike McShane as The Journals of Lewis and Clark, Mark Cohen as Mario Puzo, Greg Proops as Millie the White House Dog and John Sessions as Ernest Hemingway

Mike: Colonel Meriweather Lewis and I had stocked up on provisions near the Ol’ Sage River, for a perilous and trepidation-filled journey across the wide America. Pemekin, beef jerky and assorted niblets were stuffed into our backpacks. The one thing that the Indian priestess, Hanago Haganigawaga, really liked, was…

Mark: The Indian priestess was sleeping in her bed, when all of a sudden Salazo came, and he had the head of a horse. But the horse was made out of chocolate.

Greg: (Growls and scratches behind his ears) He had a horse’s head. And he also had a horse’s ass! It was Dan Quayle!

John: The river went up and then it went round a bit for an inch or so and then it went down again. Nick looked at the river and checked out the macaroni cheese that was floating down towards him, and the trout, some real fine bitch that she was, with her kagida, that was swimming towards him. Nick figured out that the trees down along the bend were about three inches to the left of where they were the day before and the water was about five inches deeper, but then Hemingway remembered he got something in his pants, and he had to go home and fill it.

Mike: “Strip off your breach cloth, white boy, and show me what makes America so great!”, she cried!

Mark: They continued to make mad, passionate love…

Greg: Doggy style!

John: Nick looked at the dog, doing it doggy style with the trout by the water. It was good. It reminded him of Spain, and even Rubber Jordan, even Gary Cooper. But then again, he was unmasculine.

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