I have been promising for long to introduce you to “Chor Machaye Shor” – one of the most humourous offerings presented by PTV in the era when TV in this country was still in its infancy, but for various reasons, most of which are beyond my control, I could not do so. I will not enlist the various reasons I often cite but….
What I will do in the interim is give you some dialogues, that might interest you. As is my habit, I will not give a synopsis of the plot here or introduce the characters, except the bare minimum needed to relish these. You might like them better if you understand Punjabi but it is not very necessary…. I think I will lay out 13 scenes…..
A.D. Chowdhury (to Nargis Khanum): ….Yeh chikah ab la deni chahiyen (walks towards them and suddenly stops) Lo, main te khud hi hatane chaliya si. Ae naukar-chakar ghar mein paaye dene ke liye hai. Idhar aayen….. aati jaayen (gestures to a button on the wall) Yeh button dekh rahi hai na aap isko dabane se ek beraa aa jate lapak ke…..
Chowdhury sahab (to Sultan): Oye Sultan, tune mera batua te nahi dekha?
Sultan (shaking head) : Nahi Chowdhury sahab
Chowdhury sahab: Nahi! (Gestures with eye to table) Ohh peya hai
Chowdhury sahab (to wife Nazeera): Oye suthre boote, tu mere batua to paise te nahi kadde
Nazeera (with a wheedling expression): Nahi, jite ji, twanu ghalti lagi hai
Chowdhury sahab (losing cool): Oye mainu kutta wattaya hai jo mainu ghalti lagi ho. Kal satai rupaye ghat si, parsaun satavan rupaye kadde gayi si….
Nargis (coming up): Chowdhury sahab, kahi aapko mere upar to shak nahi
Chowdhury sahab (horrified, beating chest with letter): Oye tauba tauba. Ki gal kardi hai janaab!
Nazeera: Dekh liye, Chowdhury sahab, mehmana naal ainj salook kiya jaanda hai (To Nargis) Tusi bura na maanon, behenji, inna di te adaat hain shak karan di. Badi kamini adat hai
Chowdhury sahab: Hain, main kameena hun?
Nazeera (realising she might have gone too far): Jinha nun shak honda hai o honden hai…. Saanu twadda te nahi pata
Chowdhury sahab (picking telephone): Oye aa paiyan! Oye A.D. Chowdhury (in a more mellow tone) Acha acha aap hai. Kya aap nahi aa rahen. Kisko bhej rahe hai? Changezi? Changez Shiraazi? Ae kaun banda hai… walaitiyon padhaye hai….. (after some more converation, which I cannot quite recall, and is not much important, he goes), Acha, Acha, Khuda Hafez. Khuda Hafez (and in sudden burst) Oye Khuda Hafez (bangs down the receiver) Chamut hi gaya..
Chowdhury sahab (to Timi, his step-daughter, after making her sign legal document): Tumhe pata hai tumne kis par dastkhat kiya hai
Timi: Nahi uncle
Chowdhury sahab: Oye tumhe bilkul nahi pata?
Timi: Nahi uncle
Chowdhury sahab: Is kagaz ko kehte hai power of …. power of (face contorts with the effort) power of …. patakhni
A little later, after making the bearer, Sultan, sign the same document as witness.
Chowdhury sahab: Oye, Sultan, tumhe pata hai tumne kis par dastakhat kiye hai?
Sultan: Nahi, Chowdhury sahab, nahi
Chowdhury sahab: Is kagaz ko kehte hai….. power of… power of…. Chalo, nahi pata to mar nahi jaoge. Chalo!
To be continued….