I had begun sharing some memorable scenes from the late 1980s PTV sitcom “Chor Machaye Shor”. Though I had promised you some 13 examples, I began laughing so much (inwardly, since I was in office) that I could not continue further and closed it.
Lets carry on….
Soon after the paper signing, an apprehensive Timi feels she has made a mistake and broaches the subject
Timi: Maina suna tha uncle aapne haali mein race mein kafi saara paisa haara tha
Chowdhury sahab: Oye aafavaon par yaqeen nahi karna chahiye. Inhi sab cheezon ne to mulk ka beda gharq kiya hai…
(For those who are interested, this is the origin of a phrase I am often known to use, with some minor variations)
And here is Chowdhury sahab trying to explain something to his ‘setkari’ (secretary)
Chowdhury sahab: Tum jaante ho is makaan vich pandrah bedroom hai. Main ine barihe dekhna chahta hoon
Rizvi, the secretary: Aapka matlab admion se
Chowdhury sahab: Na te kuttean aur billian naal….
A little later, skipping atleast three-four scenes, we come to one of the key, not to mention the funniest.
Sultan, the bearer, shows in well-dressed man, carrying a briefcase and goes to summon Chowdhury sahab, carrying a visiting card
Chowdhury sahab (offstage, in a loud bellow): Kaun banda hai? (Voice comes down to a more reasonable level) Acha acha, ‘Pindion aaya hoga
(Enters the frame)
Man: Sir, salaam aleikum
Chowdhury sahab: Walekum (as man extends his hand for handshake) Oye khalo jaa! Hath ponch laan. Khana kha raha tha (takes out handkerchief and elaborately wipes hand) Leao! (reads card, or tries to) Mr Changezi?
Man: Changez Shirazi. Sir, aap ne card ulta pakda hai
Chowdhury sahab: Oye ulta ho siddha ho, na te tera hi likhiya hai na
Shirazi (laughs): Bilkul durust farmaya. Sir, Changez Shirazi
Chowdhury sahab: A.D. Chowdhury
A few minutes later…. Chowdhury sahab explains the problem.
Chowdhury sahab: Kal ka zikr hai ke main coat tang ke te ghuslkhane gaya. Jab main laute, te jeb taun athyani ghaib
Shirazi (puzzled): Athyani?
Chowdhury sahab: Ghaib
Shirazi (more puzzled, repeats): Athyani?
Chowdhury sahab: Athyani ghaib
Shirazi: Sir Athyani kya hai?
Chowdhury sahab: Oye tujhe athyani ka nahi pata. Oh yaar, yeh kisko phej dita woh aap kyun nahi aaya. Oye rupaiye de addha kinna honda hai
Shirazi : Athyani…. (finally understands) aath aane
Shirazi: Is ghar mein kaun kaun rehta hai?
Chowdhury sahab:Is ghar mein… main rehta hoon, meri baif
Shirazi (again confused): Baif?
Chowdhury sahab: Baif (sees confusion on Shirazi’s face) Oye Chausa
Shirazi (more confused): Chausa?
Chowdhury sahab: Oye Gharwaali….. oh yaar ye kisko phej dita
Shirazi (finally understands): Ohhh, wife
Chowdhury sahab: Te ek sautaili beti, te ek setkari
Shirazi: Aha, secretary, mard ya aurat
Chowdhury sahab: Lagda teh mard hai. Allah jaane
After understanding all the problems
Shirazi: Aapko kise pe shaq ya shauba?
Chowdhury sahab (Standing up, agitated): Oye main tujhe apna shak ya shauba hi bata diya, to tere aan di ki fayada hai? Oye company tumhe tankha kis baat ke de
Shirazi: Durust farmaate hai aap
Shirazi: Chowdhury sahab, dekhiye, aisi chothi-mothi choriyon ka pata lagane thoda mushkil hota hai. Aapko aitraaz na ho, to main yahan aa ke kuch din reh jayun
Chowdhury sahab: Oye mujhe kya aitraaz hoga. Jahan itni saare log roti torh rahe tum bhi aa ke torh lo
Shirazi: Phir theek hai, mein din chaar din mein aa jaunga. (Leans toward Chowdhury sahab) Aap apne ghar mein keh dijiyega ke main aapka dost hoon?
Chowdhury sahab: Dost? Oye log yaqeen kar lenge?
Shirazi (confused): Kyun?
Chowdhury sahab: Oh yaar teri badqismati hai ke tun shaklon padha-likha lagda hai
And on this note, I’ll close this installment…
To be continued…