A goodbye to 2010

A few years ago, somewhere towards the beginning of this century, I fell in the habit of giving names to the passing years. I started with 1991, the year I consider I moved out of my shell and began engaging with the world. So fittingly, it was titled “The Year of First Starts”. However, the next failed to show any promise and was dubbed “The Year of Gloomy Stagnation” but luckily it was followed by “The Year of Regained Hope” in 1993…. and so on down the years (I will give the full list sometime soon in case anyone is interested) till the recent present when I decided to use the name I have used for 2010 here, “The Year of Glorious Uncertainty” as a more fitting sobriquet for 2009, which I referred to as annus horibilis so far. 2010 can instead be termed “The Year of Inevitable Realisation” .

Well, I guess the name says it all – it was the year where the realisation did sink finally that there is no use even contemplating, like the Prince of Denmark, if one should attempt to struggle but on the other hand, dismissing his other option as rather too extreme… a conclusion he comes to himself at the end of his soliloquy…. but it is not my intention to discuss Elizabethan playwrights here, no matter how famous they may be.

Backing up a bit, it is the issue of the realisation thast sank in this year – that no matter what you might do or have done for some people, it does not make the slightest bit of difference to them and they will gladly forget it and go on their own way without even the shread of any compunction or remorse – this may be your associates, friends, colleagues and even members of your family. Leave alone any sense of gratitude, even basic courtesy and manners are ignored. Yes, unless it is the favoured ones and then they bend over backwards to indulge them and the ones who have been patient and loyal can very well take a hike……

Very well, then the next question is what can be done? The answer is not immediately obvious though what you can do is the bravest course possible – Nothing, at this point in time at least. When things and situations change, then we will make a reassessment. Long back, I had quipped it the “Policeman Syndrome” – when you are in trouble, then you look for the reassuring form of one to be at your back, or even in front. All things righted…. and you don’t even want the shadow of one near….. However, I must clarify there are exceptions, honourable exceptions I must say, who buck this trend and their support is enough.

One last word on this topic – to all those who have displayed this, lack of response does not indicate that it will not come… but only that it will come when I am ready, and on my terms.

Another facet of this was the growing distance from some people I considered my best …well they might have credible reasons for their actions and I will not prejudge them…. maybe we will reunite in a much better world than this one.

On the positive side, there was a long-due reconciliation after a tense period of misunderstanding and closer links with another individual…. lets see what shape these take in the year to come.

With less than an hour to go for 2010 to be rung out here, I must mention some individuals that made this year a pleasure – apart from Khusro sahab and Kidwai sahab, I must mention Salvo Montalbano, Dr Siri Paiboun, Omar Yussuf Sirhan, Brigadier-General Khamis Zeydan, Inspector Chen Cao and their associates – it doesn’t make any difference then the first two, the others are the lead characters of some of the best books I read this year….

I hope I will have the chance to sample some good books in 2011 too – I really do hope and if this happens, I shall be quite very satisfied…


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