It is strange how someone we have never met or talked to, but only seen onscreen, can seem so close to us, that his death can affect us so much/Yeh ajeeb baat hai ke koi aisa shakhs, jis se hamari kabhi mulaqat na huyi ho, kabhi guftagu na huyi ho, aur sirf apna adkaari ke vaje se hamare zehn mein ho, itna qareeb lag sakta hai ke us ke intekaal ki khabar hame hairan-pareshan kar deti hai.
When today I got the news of Moin Akhtar’s death, I was quite saddened and felt it to be a huge personal loss/Jaise mujhe aaj sham ko Moin Akhtar ki faut ki khabar mili, to main bahut ghamgheen huya aur laga ke jaise ek zaati nuqsaan hai….
I have only seen Moin Akhtar in that celebrated play and that famous interview of Imran Khan – especially when he playfully upbraids Imran for his “weak Urdu” on a response on his marriage plans, but it seems I have known him for years. Such is life/Maine Moin Akhtar ko sirf us mashoor drame mein dekha hai aur ek baar, Imran Khan se sawaal jawaab karte huye – khaaskar jab woh Imran ko unki “kamzor Urdu” ke liye kheenchte hai – par aisa lagta hai ke main use barson se jaanta tha. Yeh zindagi hai….
I was long considering a post on Moin Akhtar here as part of a series on his antics that uproarious ‘Bakra Qiston Pe’ – in fact, the first part, had already been posted/Main kaafi lambi arse se yahan Moin Akhtar par ek ‘post’ likhne ki soch raha tha, jo us mazahiya istage drame ‘Bakra Qiston Pe’ mein unke yadgaar kirdar aur adakari ke bina par thi – darsal pehli qist main shaya bhi kar chuka hoon.
So as this will be the only way we will be able to see Moin now, and as a artist lives eternally through his work, here is a small account of his character in “Bakra Qiston Pe”, which made him popular throughout the subcontinent/To, kyunkar ham ab Moin ko is zariye he dekh sakenge, aur mera manna hai ke koi bhi kalakaar apne kaam se hi hamesha zinda rehta hai, to lijiye “Bakra Qiston Pe” mein unke adakaari ki ek muktsar jhalak, aisi adakari jis ne unhone pure khitte mein mashoor kiya.
The actual star of the play is Prof Nizami (Umar Sharif) who appears virtually throughout the play except some segments but Moin holds his own against him when they are both together – and when he is by himself, words fail me/ Hala ki is drame ka asli kirdar Prof Nizami (Umar Sharif) hai, to kafi had tak pure drame mein saamne haazir rehte hai, lekin jab Moin unke saamne hote hai, to unhe takkar dete hai, aur apne aapne, bayaan karna mushkil hai….
I will not proceed linearly, but start with two or three of his best dialogues in the play/Main tartib se nahi chalunga, aur aghaaz unke do ya teen sabse yadgaar ‘dialogue’ se karunga…..
And from now, the bilingual version will stop/Ab se do zaabani …. mazrat, I mean sorry…..
(Impersonating Mustafa Queshi as Noorie Nutt)
Prof Nizami’s daughter (a strikingly pretty girl/ek nihayati khubsurat…oops) : Dekho Anand, tumne apni harkatein durust nahi ki to main tumhari doli mein kabhi nahi baithungi….. (her elbow hits Anand, who shakes)
Anand (Moin) (voice from offscreen): Doli mein to tera baap bhi baithega, soniyo
Girl turns back, with amazed look
Moin (nods, with unmistakable smirk on face. Continues in voice of silken menace): Je tu doli vich nahi baithegi, te main doli chuk ke lejavanga (Prof Nizami enters) Aa, budhiya aa (Nizami double takes, tries to hide in curtain) Aaaja. Main tere paiye de totte totte kar dyanga (makes appropriate hand gestures) main teri lattan kat dyanaga. (Nizami grips knees in terror) Te tu jab in katti huyi lataa naal chale-gaa, te tere pairan di awaaz khat-khat, khat-khat, khat-kaht nai, Noorie Nutt Nutt di awaaz aayegi, soniyo!”
(Laughs unpleasantly) Mera tere naal koi panga nahi (Shakes hands expansively, Nizami brings both hands up in relieved prayer). Mera panga to teri kudi de naal hai. Mai aes nu chukkan aaya hun, te main isnu chuk ke le javaanga. Rok sakta hai te rok le, aa…. (lunges at her, she screams and runs offstage, pursued by him).
To be continued/Jaari rahega…..